The Disney People

Hey, I made it through February! And I promise that my blogging absence has not been because I spent the whole month lying around in a haze of Prozac and tears. Really, I've just been low energy and - to be perfectly honest - a bit bored with my own blog. But the extra sunshine makes it feel as spring is not so far off, which is such a mood lifter.

Plus, I took a trip to Orlando for a baby shower in honor of my lil sissy. I'm going to be an aunt! In just two short months, or thereabout. I'll soon have a little nephew to spoil and focus all my baby energy on. I am so excited.

Basil, Petunia and I will be heading back down to Orlando the first week of June to meet the newest member of our extended family and while we are there, we are doing Disney World.

We've actually taken Petunia to Disney World twice on other visits to Orlando, once when she was one and once when she was two. Both visits were just one-day visits to the theme parks, our entry comp'ed in by my sister, who used to be a part-time Mary Poppins at the various character breakfasts around the World. (She *really* looked like Mary Poppins and apparently had the accent and mannerisms down pat, but she won't ever do her Mary for me!)

But one day, especially if it's spread among two parks, is not a lot of time to see Disney World. And that's been fine for a toddler. But when we will be there in June, Petunia will be four and a half going on five. I think she's going to get a lot more out of the experience this time, and so we are staying in Orlando long enough to spend four days at the four theme parks. My sister, a former "cast member," has been telling me for nearly a year that Petunia is getting to be the "perfect age" for Disney World and has been urging us to do a real Disney vacation.

So we are doing it. Luckily, we will be staying with my sister, which takes the cost of the vacation down a significant notch. And even more luckily, we have a family friend (someone I grew up with) who now lives in Orlando and still works part time for Disney. I saw her at Shel's shower and she graciously offered that she and/or her fiance, who also works for Disney part time, could get us into the parks for free most, if not all, of the days we plan to visit.

Cast member "main gates" are one-day park hoppers, which means that you can visit as many parks in one day as you'd like. Disney charges a small fortune for admission and the park hopper addition costs even more, so this family friend will be saving us anywhere from $600-$750. We plan on buying this family friend the nicest wedding gift on her registry.

Being the obsessive planner that I am and happy to have a part of my life that I can actually plan and control, I have been throwing myself into planning our Disney vacation. Holy cow. Did you know how much of a Disney "community" there is out there? I knew there were Disney nuts - and heck, maybe some of you are them - that go every year or a couple of times a year and know the parks like the backs of their hands. I had no idea how big the community was or how much information they have made available - some for free, some for a price.

I bought a copy of The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World with Kids and have been combing through sites like AllEars.Net and MousePlanet. It's cool how much info is there, but it's also a bit overwhelming. Like, are we screwed if we don't use a Touring Plan? Who knew you had to make reservations to dine in Cinderella's castle six months in advance?!?

(I called last month immediately upon reading that and secured a lunch spot...at 2:25 pm one day during our visit. There were lunches for the first week of June that were completely sold out by mid-January. Yikes. Also, when you book a meal in the castle, you PRE-PAY the entire amount including tax and tip. I have already spent $130 on lunch for three that will not even happen for three more months and does not include any alcohol.)

I suppose that if we were spending $3,000-$5,000 on this vacation, as it would be easy to do if we were spending money on park admissions and a hotel, I would be more worked up about what we were going to do every minute of the day. As it is, I'm coming up with a plan for which parks we'll visit on which days, making dining reservations for character meals (when I called last month to book the castle, the reservations agent asked I wanted to make other reservations and when I said, 'Gosh, no, I mean they don't book up this early, do they?', responded 'Well, just don't call three weeks before you're coming and think that you will get anything') at the various parks, making a list of the things we want to see and roughing out a plan for each day, keeping in mind that things are likely to change based on our moods, the weather, what we feel like, etc.

My sister, of course, has a lot of tips and opinions about things, though she's never spent a vacation at Disney World with a small child, so her suggestions might not be relevant. My goal for the trip is to see lots of characters (I think Petunia is just at the right age to get excited about meeting Mr. Incredible, Ariel, Chip and Dale, Captain Hook and all the other folks in her favorite movies/shows) and ride some rides when we can. I'm trying really hard to balance my penchant for advance planning with the spontaneity that comes from (a) going on vacation and (b) having a small child. If we end up experiencing The Magic in a good way, maybe I'll end up a member of the Disney cul--er, community.

Up and Down

When January ended, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I had gotten through the most depressing day of the year feeling pretty good. Maybe my seasonal sadness was all in my head and I had outsmarted it this year with therapy and self-awareness.

But here's what I realized: early February is my most depressing time of the year. For whatever reason - maybe the relaxation after having made it through January - I've been having some crappy days. Some people write when they're down; I hole up inside myself/my house/my office and shut down communication. I also eat way too much junk food, feel bad about myself, do very little at work and take everything very personally.

I've been seeing my therapist every other week for the past several months. I was in a pretty good place for most of this fall and winter. But two or three weeks ago, a big gray cloud just started following me around, getting a little bit closer each day.

I wanted to blame it on being stretched too thin, teaching at GWU on Monday evenings and going to church choir on Thursday evenings. But I'm taking weeks off singing, and teaching has holidays built into the spring schedule. So I'm only going to have both my Monday and my Thursday spoken five or six times between mid-January and late April. Pretty manageable really, especially considering that I get paid to teach at GWU.

The cloud is just there, not really the fault of anyone or anything. It's been ebbing and flowing a bit, and I've been trying to notice my moods, per my therapist, whom I'm seeing weekly for the time being. Wednesday, bad. Thursday, okay. Friday, up and down. Saturday, good. Sunday, mostly good. Today, not so great.

Amazingly, through my ups and downs, I've been very comforted by Petunia. Last night, when Basil was at his wits end with her, which hardly ever happens - I am usually the one with the short Petunia fuse - I was perfectly happy helping her play a new computer game and making pipe cleaner people with her.

The chocolate addiction has gotten way out of hand and has been joined by a general habit of eating too much and lots of junk food. Just ridiculous. I've put on about two to four pounds in the past couple of weeks, which is a big red flag, but I just can't be bothered to do too much about it. I know that eating through my emotions is not healthy, but I just do not have the strength or discipline to be all healthy and restrained right now. I'm focusing the health that I've got on my family and relationships. The diet and body will just have to take the brunt of the assault of the gray rain cloud for now.

I don't really have a point in writing this, other than the fact that I wanted to make sure people knew I was still alive and functioning. I wish I were functioning better, but - hey - March is only a few weeks away. (I guess it's good that my bad month is the shortest one in the whole year.)